Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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