I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
