yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
