I've blown a few things in my day
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
