Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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