I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
