She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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