I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
