I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
