How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
