My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the night ended with taco bell and tears
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
