Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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