I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
