my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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