When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
