Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
