My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
