We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
