I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's blow job season.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize