all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When did angry sex become our thing?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
