He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
