i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
