Don't you send me to vm
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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