She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
