this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
