I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
