all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize