found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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