weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
