she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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