i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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