and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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