Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
