your room smells of hookers.
And success
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
