He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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