He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
