know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
