I'm eating all of the evidence.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
