Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
