why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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