I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
