I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
