i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize