Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I FOUND THE LEGS
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
