Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
