if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
