I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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