she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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