I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
