Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
