This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize