My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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