Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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