and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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