I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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