yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
