Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
40s are totally the cure
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize