you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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