LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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