you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
